lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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