so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
