I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
