she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Randomize