hell yes lets make some ravioli
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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