Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Randomize
