All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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