In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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