dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
