just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
