I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
