Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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