By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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