Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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