if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
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According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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