Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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