After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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