heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
