the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
My vagina just recognized that song.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
he just fucked me for my cheese..
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
