The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
