my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
