I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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