Kiss
Puke
i was born a porn star she said
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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