I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
there was a trapeze. enough said
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
