Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
