Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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