one two three fourrrrnication!
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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