Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Two words: blizzard sex
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
