Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
