my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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