Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
