At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
