Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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