Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
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