Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
