I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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