i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
