Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
