Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
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he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
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As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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