i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
