I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
