we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
