we're blogging at a bar
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
