it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
No subtext here. People are naked.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize