Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
