I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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