I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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