How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Your cock deserves a montage
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I want to fling myself into the sun
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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