Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Randomize
