Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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