Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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