Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
