i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
