Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
