dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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