man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
