Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
foreskin is a definite game changer
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
