if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
My friends, they love my intelligence
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
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