it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
