Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
