I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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